Dear Son,

If you are reading this, I have been long gone, and there are many lessons I will not be able to teach you in person. Due to this fact, I have decided to write you this letter for when you are old enough to start your journey into manhood.

As you grow into becoming a man, you will realize that you must let go of parts of yourself that you enjoyed as a child - innocence, glee, playfulness. You may feel the urge to resist this, but you must not, since being a man is a duty you have inherited since birth.

The journey of every boy, into manhood, seems to happen in stages.

In my life, I was able to identify three main stages into manhood. I would have liked to see you live through these and guide you through them. My dear son, you carry my hopes, dreams, desires, and unfinished trials. I wish you the strength to persevere, and I pray that you've inherited my resilience and more. It's your duty to surpass me and become a better man.

I refer to being a man as a duty because that's precisely what it is. You must live not only for yourself but also for those around you, both seen and unseen. You must strive to cultivate strong moral character, work diligently to provide not just for your family but for others, uphold your word as your bond, and shoulder the burdens of your community.

The first stage of your journey is transitioning from boyhood to adulthood. You must relinquish the pleasures of childhood and embrace the challenges of the world, for this world is yours, and you are accountable for it. You'll need to mature quickly, perhaps enduring jobs you dislike, sacrificing time with loved ones, and confronting anxiety and dread as the world observes you. Son, you are not allowed to cry; instead, put on your best face and wake up each morning to face these demons.

The second stage is evolving from an adult into a gentleman. If you've reached this point, congratulations—you're now a functioning member of society. I congratulate you here because no one else will. You may feel resentment for this lack of recognition. But son, you must understand, this is the bare minimum of what is expected from a man.

You may wonder what it means to be a gentleman. A true gentleman's essence lies in how he treats women and children. Over the last few years, the world has shown you how your emotions are simply in the way of your duty. Unfortunately, son, I fear that chances are that this may have made you cold. Because of this, you must now relearn how to be gentle. As a gentleman, you must treat women with love and respect and raise children with care and discipline.

This path is fraught with challenges, my son. You'll stumble, and the world may scorn you for it. Women will call you a cur, and men will consider you weak. But you must not give in to the depths of despair - into the colder world of a man. Push through, and learn to grant others the warmth and kindness that is not afforded to you.

Finally, the third stage marks your transition into genuine manhood. This phase presents the ultimate challenge—a test that every man attempts but few conquer in their lifetimes. Here, you must extend your care beyond your family to encompass your community. A true man serves as a pillar of support, safeguarding and nurturing everyone. Whether through military service or aiding those in need, your actions may be scrutinized for ulterior motives. Meanwhile, your close friends and family will try and convince you that it is wasteful to take this mission on.

You must not let this get in your way, push through, my son. Keep proving everyone wrong. Keep on giving this world until they cannot question your motives anymore. For this is what it takes to become a true man.

By now, you may feel disheartened, but I have good news. Just as in nature, being a man isn't all hardship.

If my life serves as a testament to all men, I can assure you that amidst the challenges, there are four days of happiness. There will be a day where a woman you care about looks back at you with deep affection in her eyes. There will be a day where your parents will embrace you and tell you how proud they are of you. There will be a day where your little one runs up to you with pure joy when you come home from a hard day of work. There will be a day where your best mate will put his arm over your shoulder and tell you he is blessed to have you in his life.

Four days—they may seem fleeting, but son, they're all a man needs.

I don't need to be present to know you'll do your best. I trust you'll endure the trials and unlock those precious moments in your life.

Cherish those days, my son.

You've earned them.

Love,

Your Father